I'm clearly behind on blogging...but I definitely have a great (and super cute) excuse! My laptop at home is junk and I have started relying on my iPad, so typing anything over a couple of sentences has been on hold. I will try to play a little bit of catch up now.
Wow! I cannot explain how intense the past 8 weeks of our lives have been. I think I have been through every emotion there is and back again. Remy has certainly changed both Bryant & I. I know I speak for us both when I say that having our sweet little girl has shown us both a new kind of love neither of us could have ever imagined. I am going to back-track and post about the first two weeks of our new life...here we go!
Like I said in my last post, we left the hospital after just 24 hours...this turned out to be a bad idea. Future moms out there, enjoy your hospital stay! Our first night home was somewhat of a disaster that ended in me calling in my own mom for help. :) I don't think either of us will ever forget what the first night of being solely responsible for another human being was like. Terrifying.
I had prepared for everything...well, almost. I had always planned on breastfeeding, but knew there was the potential for needing formula, so I bought a little just in case. After leaving the hospital with the nurses reminding me 31,274,123,804 time that she NEEDED to eat EVERY 4 hours I tried to feed her...didn't work. I waited an hour and tried again. Still didn't work. Again, I tried another hour later, still not eating. Now begin first-time-mom panic attack. I freaked out, hearing the voices of each nurse telling me that she MUST EAT EVERY 4 HOURS! Another few hours later and still no eating I decided that it was time to bring in the troops...my mom. (Keep in mind that this was around midnight) 20 minutes later Grandma Berland arrived ready to help (i.e. calm a hysterical mama down.) My mom then assured me that Remy would not in fact starve to death if she didn't eat every four hours. :) Turned out to be great advice - the kid knows when she wants to eat... Nurses- 0, Grandma- 1!
The next morning we had to return to Hays for a check-up for Remy. Again I was assured by the pediatrician (who I love by the way) that it was completely normal for a brand new baby to be a little tired and not want to eat in the first few days. Damn nurses. We also found out that Remy had only lost around 5% of her birth weight, so we weren't doing so bad after all.
The next few days were a blur. Bryant had to return to work and I began my life as a stay-at-home-mama, albeit temporary. It didn't take long for the exhaustion to kick in or for us to realize that Remy did NOT like her crib. In fact, in the first few weeks she only liked to sleep if she was being held. Uh oh. This realization started a buying frenzy to find ANYTHING that Remy would sleep in...which turned out to be the Fisher Price Rock 'N Play Sleeper. That thing is magic people. Chalk up another point for Grandma!
I'm not going to sugar-coat it...the first two weeks were hard. I mean really hard. I was hit with a wall of hormones, exhaustion, and a fear of not knowing what I was doing. What did I get myself into!?!? I had an awful time trying to breastfeed and an even harder time trying to get a certain little girl to sleep without being held. There were many tears, but oddly enough, even more smiles! Hormones are a crazy thing.
After two weeks it was like a light turned on. Breastfeeding got easier. The Rock 'N Play Sleeper bought me a few hours of sleep. I learned how to eat with one hand (without dropping food all over my baby). I finally started leaving the house again. My body was healing from labor. It was wonderful! Not that I didn't enjoy being a mom in those first few weeks, but being more comfortable definitely made everything more enjoyable.
At Remy's 2 week check-up, we were again reassured that everything was going great.
She was gaining weight like a champ. We also learned that she "shrunk" a half inch. How you ask? Well you see, after 2 LONG HOURS of pushing, Remy had quite the cone head. Turns out her height measurement at birth was not very accurate. :) We also found out that she was not your typical newborn. Most newborns sleep around 18 hours a day in their first month. Remy on the other hand doesn't want to miss a thing and sleeps much less...like around 12 hours a day. On a good day.
Anyways, to wrap up a long blog...those first two weeks were a whirl-wind. Learning to be a mom is such an un-natural, natural thing. If that makes any sense. (Keep in mind that even though she is now almost 8 weeks old I am still completely exhausted and a little crazy!) I guess what I mean is that while many things come naturally, like love and breast milk...there are so many things that we had to learn in that first few weeks that didn't just "come to me" like I expected. Becoming a mom is the most challenging thing I have ever done in my life. Learning to care for a helpless newborn is quite the task, both emotionally and physically. I can hardly remember what life was like before...although I am sure it didn't involve text messaging about whether or not Remy pooped that day! :)
I am so in love with this little girl and feel like I spend most of my time trying to memorize her sweet face, as I know it will change again too quickly. Remy Cakes, you are the best thing we've ever done and we couldn't be more in love with you.
First-Time-Mama Love,
Remy's Mama
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